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Archive for December, 2011

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Because Candy and Presents are Awesome. 

That's right! It's everyone's favorite time of year again...that wonderful time when the streets run red with shopping, people battle to the death in Wal*Mart for the latest Tickle Me Elmo (or whatever people like these days), and your email inbox fills up with generic tidings of joy from any and every company with which you've ever done business. I know you've waited for this moment all year. I can just imagine you reading this very message with the exalted, trembling joy usually reserved for young children on Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Flying-Spaghetti-Monster-Womb-Emergence morning, and I'm going to do my best not to disappoint.

It's been a great year for BlueTone Media. Economic recessions,...


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Mama Luna? Oh please. Did you think I was born yesterday? 

Come on Manat, pre-Islam goddess of Arabian mythology, you're not fooling anyone. Really? "Mama Luna"? You were referred to as "moon-mother" in the ancient times for Pete's sake. If you're going into hiding, at least pick a clever name. You know, one that isn't essentially just your old popular monicker scrambled around. You must have joined up with the worst Goddess Protection Program ever.

These are some pretty sweet digs for a hideout though, Sacred al-Manat. Check out that banquet room! This thing looks like it can hold at least three score people...what's that? Four score? ....and seven years ago? Oh shut up, I thought it was a good joke. Manat, you've got to lighten up...


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I Really Hope You Mean "Experienced" When You Say Seasoned.

Otherwise I think these guys might be cannibals, using their store as a front to lure unsuspecting victims to their doom. I mean, it makes sense -- gourmet-type people are likely to be delicious, if you actually are what you eat. Just think of them as walking, talking foie gras. Throw in some sea salt, a little balsamic vinegar, and a pinch of saffron? Bam! The perfectly seasoned gourmet.

And The Seasoned Gourmet would certainly be a good way to trick and capture those with fine taste in food, wine, and food culture. They boast a healthy mix of local gourmet products and international specialties which you'll have trouble finding anywhere else. Their expert staff can provide...


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Have you ever used the internet before?   

If you answered "no" to that question, stop lying to me. This is the internet. Right now. You're on it, interwebbing at this very moment. Welcome! Have a look around -- it's a pretty roomy place. While you're looking around, take special note of the (mostly) free flow of information which surrounds you. Notice how, due to a relative freedom of information transfer, the internet is quickly expanding with innovation and invention. As a good patriot, you should probably be proud of this rapidly advancing landscape. This creatively uninhibited environment,...


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