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Coastal Land Trust

  BlueTone Media

Of course I trust you honey...but do I Coastal Land Trust you?  

I think not. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad for everything. I appreciate your honesty, loyalty, faithful dedication, and there's no way I will ever replicate the deliciousness of your cooking. I'll probably miss that the very most...yum.

But what are your homemade soufflés and shepherd's pies in comparison to the sanctity of our diminishing natural resources? Especially our coastal lands and waters...these need serious protection from the environmental hazards, industrial prospectors, and dangerous atmosphere which threaten their existence daily. It only stands to reason, then, that I would pick Coastal Land Trust over you. I'm sorry, that's just the way it is.

Yeah yeah, wedding ring schmedding ring. I know I made a vow that day, and I know I said they would last forever. But the average American lives for what, like 78 years right? These coastal lands will be the property of our children, grandchildren, and represent our heritage into the unforeseen future. Pretty cool right? And while our wedding vows will last only 78 - our age years, the environmentally crucial coastal lands of North Carolina, which constantly balance on the brink of destruction, will last 78 + eons of years if we treat them well. 78 - your age years is much smaller than 78 + eons darling, it's simple math. You should try it sometime.

No, of course I don't like making you cry. But don't make me the bad guy here. Want to know the bad guy? You should read up on how Coastal Land and Water Access affects human populations, or at least check out the state of North Carolina's coastal land resources. The perpetrators of these crises are pretty clear once you know a little bit about our environment, and if you hadn't shied away from these issues we might not be at this point. And maybe if you had stopped throwing those plastic 6-pack rings out of our car window while yelling "Death to the turtles and fishies of our world!" I would reconsider, but it's too late now.

Look, you have to stop it. I'm not changing my mind. It's not like I don't care about's just that I've changed. You've changed. The rates of sedimentation in our coastal deltas have changed, and not for the better. There's work to be done, land to be acquired and maintained, and a public awareness of the challenges which the Coastal Land Trust faces to cultivate. You're better off this way, I promise. Maybe you can start back at that solo synchronized swimming routine you were working on before we met. I have faith in you! We can do this healthily and happily. A divorce doesn't have to be painful - after all, the only thing in America eroding faster than our coastlines is the percentage of successful marriages. Let's cash in on that while we still can.

Donating to the Coastal Land Trust, whether with money or land, is a surefire way to guarantee the survival of valuable and rare natural resources in our state. To learn more, visit the new Coastal Land Trust website here and see how BlueTone Media has done their part to help out.

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