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Triton's Choice Woodworking

Hark! Lord Triton approacheth from the depths of the ocean. 

Hear ye, hear ye! I, the great Triton, son of Poseidon and Amphitrite, God and Goddess of the sea, have a declaration to make on this, the Lord's day of the 15th of May, in the year 2012. May all Those present take these declarations as Canon and cherish them accordingly 'til the grip of Thanatos draws you asunder to your deserved plane beyond this mortal coil.

It shall here and forever after be known that...can you quiet down a little bit? It shall here and forever after be know that..

Guys, come on, stop laughing. Please? Ugh, I know my...condition...is a little hard to get used to at first but really, not everyone can be bipedal and anthropomorphic you know. GUYS...shut up! What do you mean "seahorse"? That's just insulting - I'm a freaking icthyocentaur...though maybe you don't understand words that long. Let me put it more simply: I'm awesome, so bugger off. Do YOU have a moon named after you? Do YOU make epic announcements with golden conch shells? Do YOU control the might of the oceans with your magic powers? I didn't think so. So shut up. You know what? This first declaration is for you jerks, so remember that. It's official now, dummies.

Ahem. Anyway:

  1. Thou Shalt Not Laugh At My Weird Body Type
    • Seriously, you guys are ignorant. Just because I have fish parts, horse parts, and man parts, that doesn't make me any less of a regular dude than any of you. I like watching sports, eating Chinese food, and checking my Facebook. I'm a totally cool and fun guy to be around so if you don't like my scaly hooves and slime trails, YOUR LOSS. No more horse-man-fish rides for you. Eat that.
  2. Thou Shalt Select Triton's Choice For Your Woodworking Needs.
    • I mean come on, it's all in the name. Triton's Choice. Duh. That's ME. With that name I didn't really have a say in the matter anyway, so it's lucky for me that these guys are the real deal. Expertly-crafted woodworks such as these are no easy thing to come by, and the craftsmanship necessary to make pieces of this magnitude is almost unreal. Their works are handmade with pride, and will last for many of your mortal lifetimes.
Triton, The Horse Man Fish, Rides Again
See? I'm not that weird looking. Plus, I give great back massages.

I have more declarations to make but I'm feeling unappreciated here. I think I'll just go back underwater and, oh I don't know, maybe crush you all with a tidal wave. Because I'm Triton, remember? No biggie, just going to harken up some megadeath waves and smite your entire village or something. Booyah.



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Vote!

Vote!

Don't make me send my fleet of bald eagles out to rough you up a bit. 

It's primary season, and that means it's time to go out and do your duty as an American - vote. Yes, even you. There's some particularly important issues at stake in North Carolina during this particular vote, so it's exceptionally important to get out there and get your America on.

A Hand Touches The Screen Of A Voting Machine Above: A voting machine gets heroically molested in the name of freedom.


"But...where can I get my America on?!"

Excellent question, Mr./Mrs. Would-Be Patriot. Let's hook you up with a hit of that sweet national pride.

New Hanover County Voting Locations

Brunswick County Voting Locations

Pender County Voting Locations

BOOM. If you live in a different county, check out this awesome resource. Maybe you've heard of it before.

Now get out there and cast your ballot, eat an apple pie full of hamburgers, and let's have a roman candle fight at a barbeque. AMERICA!



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iResuméd

iResuméd

"iQuit My Last iJob Because iWanted A New iCareer...." 

"-- I'm sorry, could you stop right there. Why are you doing that?"

"What am iDoing?"

"You keep saying "I" at the beginning of everything."

"No iAm not. You're mispronouncing it."

"What?"

"You're saying "I". iThink you are trying to say 'i'. That's what iAm iDoing."

"Oh no. You're another one of these."

"iDon't know what you mean."

"Ugh, OK. I'll try to make this clear for you. Adding a lowercase letter 'i' to the beginning of things doesn't make them better. It doesn't signify a technological breakthrough, it doesn't indicate any enhanced features and abilities, and it doesn't improve the quality of your product or service. It endears exactly 0% of anyone ever and it's obnoxious. I went to the store the other day and saw an iPillow. Not kidding. My wife brought home an iKettle to make tea in. It's the dumbest thing ever, and I have no time for it."

"i...iDon't know what to iSay -"

"Just either slown down on all this 'i' business, or leave this interview."

"OK...i'm sorry..."

"NOPE. That sounded pretty lowercase to me. Get out."

"Oh come on! iT doesn't count iF iWork iT iN like that!"

"I SAID GET OUT."

"At least watch my iResumé first!"

"For the last time, stop - what do you mean, 'watch your resumé?'"

"Seriously this time. It's my iResumé. See?"

"Wow...that's...actually pretty cool. Is that a video resumé? With your own personal profile? It's so...professional looking. Wow, there's even a QR code...you can pass these out anywhere so easily, and I can watch them straight from my iPhone or Android device? iLike this, this is cool."

"You're right iT iS. Care to reconsider?"

"iThink you might be onto iSomething here."

"iKnew you'd say that."



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Kickstarter And The Money Avalanche

A Pebble Becomes a Boulder

Fundraiser website Kickstarter has been a hugely popular phenomenon amongst start-up, DIY, and small enterprise organizations for the last few years - particularly in our area, where dozens and dozen of different groups have tried (with varying levels of success) to raise the money they need to pursue their dream projects. In fact, Wilmington is one of the most popular Kickstarter cities in the country, with several successful Kickstarter campaigns under their local, hand-made belts, and there's plenty more coming. At the time of this writing, there are 39 active Kickstarter projects in Wilmington - with each project having a month to get funded, that averages out to more than one campaign being started per day in Wilmington alone.

Crowdfunding, the idea of sourcing financial backing through large groups in which individuals make piecemeal donations, has been on the social movement radar for more than a decade now: in fact, the band Marillion has been funding tours and recording projects as far back as 1997. Most early crowdfunding projects were for musicians and bands, and most early crowdfunding websites (such as Sellaband) reflect this. However, as the crowdfunding movement has gained popularity, more and more small ventures and independent enterprises have turned to their friends, family, and the kindness of donation-happy strangers to help finance their dreams.

Most crowdfunded campaigns online (such as IndieAGoGo) offer quirky "rewards" for their backers - donate $25 or more and get a personal caricature postcard and a bag of glitter - donate $50 and get a small butter scultpure of yourself, and so on. The majority of crowdfunded projects online also ask relatively modest amounts of their backers, and by establishing a slightly low bar for their target budget hope to 1. ensure their funding goals are met, 2. not rile suspicions of laziness, and 3. legitimize their campaign's (and their) ability to finance effectively. Oftentimes, successful projects receive more donated money than their minimum budget, and they are free to keep this money for use with their campaign.

The success of each crowdfunding campaign depends on its support network and its ability to use online and offline promotion effectively. Some projects fall short of their goal (a circumstance which, for most crowdsourced campaigns, mean they receive nothing), some projects barely make their target goal...and some projects, one in particular, go far and beyond what they could have ever expected.

Meet Pebble, the e-ink paper watch which has officially become the most funded Kickstarter campaign of all time. Their target goal was already high - $100,000, nearly 2.5 times as much as the most highly funded ever Kickstarter campaign in Wilmington, NC. So how much has Pebble received?

$6.6 Million Freaking Dollars. And Counting.

That's right...and counting. The Pebble project still has 22 days left, meaning that people can keep donating if they so desire. Admittedly, the product is an exciting idea - an e-ink display digital watch which is smart enough to have its own apps, and which can easily sync with your iPhone or Android device. It can function as a timekeeper (as watches are often known to do), pedometer, media player remote, golf rangefinder, and way more. But $6.6 million? Yikes.

This raises an interesting question: what happens when your crowdfunded campaign raises more than sixty times what it intended? There must be huge pressure on the makers of Pebble, aptly named Pebble Technology, who now have more rewards to send out to their backers than they could have possibly conceived. And the rewards themselves? Pebble watches. Thousands of them.

Indeed, funding this project might just be a steal for backers: roughly each $100 in donations purchases a Pebble watch, while they expect to retail the Pebble for $150. That's a 33% discount to get the newest and hottest technology available before anyone else, and at the same time to brag that you were a part of making it happen. And not only is Pebble selling their items at a discount  - they're eating a lot of that donated cost from the very beginning to set up manufacturing and production systems on a much larger scale than they intended with their target budget of $100,000. So, depending on how you look at it, the Pebble Situation is either the best windfall for a Kickstarter company ever, or a little bit too much of a good thing...either way, I still want one. I think I'll wait for them to figure this all out, though.

Want to donate to some worthy causes?

Help out some Wilmington natives with their agricultural aspirations! Check out these permaculture-loving gals.

Or, if you feel like beating a (money-stuffed) dead horse, head over to the Pebble Kickstarter.



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CFGALA

CFGALA

The Cape Fear Guardian ad Litem Association

On average, one child a day is taken from a dangerous home and placed into foster care in New Hanover and Pender counties alone. Each of these cases goes to family court, which attempts to determine the safest and most beneficial course of action for the child. Each of these children is assigned a Guardian ad Litem, a trained volunteer who collaborates with attorneys and professionals to determine the child's best interest. Many of these children end up in permanent foster care, where they receive basic necessities and often the familial love which they need for healthy development...but the job of the Guardian ad Litem doesn't stop there.

That's where the Cape Fear Guardian ad Litem Association (CFGALA) comes in. The CFGALA is a group of Guardian ad Litems who go above and beyond their calling to raise funds for children to attend summer camp, receive tutoring, learn the arts, and more. The Cape Fear Guardian ad Litem Association attempts to improve the quality of life for protected foster children by providing them with more than the bare necessities, and in the process the CFGALA hopes to expand their horizons and future opportunities.

Learn more about the Cape Fear Guardian ad Litem Association here. View their schedule of upcoming events, send them your words of support, and perhaps even consider making a donation if possible.



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