By: Brad Graham
Zombies Definitely Deserve a Hydrating Paraffin FacialLadies & Gentle Zombies alike! Now announcing the one and only beauty apothecary and full service salon still open for business since the zombie apocalypse: Beauty Lounge! When wiping the blood off your face from breakfast just won't do the trick anymore, treat yourself to a day at this luxurious (enough) lounge to brighten that dull, drab, dead look of yours.
Our pure mud facials are sure to mostly clean any grubs living in the gaping wounds on that beautiful undead face. Hair matted with those pesky, constantly leaking brain fluids? Come visit our salon where our hair experts will ensure you receive a new do worthy of more than just a few "AWWRG'S!" Maybe you'd just like to look more human than dead, who doesn't? So we've recently hired professional morticians to give you the closest to living look that makeup can buy-- we can even cover up those permanently sunken jowls and apply false lashes to make you seem even more alive than ever before.
If anything, the number one request at Beauty Salon is that sun kissed glow! Face it, ladies-- you wouldn't want to be caught dead with that pasty green and white flesh tone in a bikini. With summer right around the corner, a you could do with a good air-brushed tan! Even the lightest shade of sunny would be an improvement!
So come by Beauty Salon and get the living dead look you've always groaned for!
*Note: We strongly urge you to please refrain from biting our necro-cosmetologist's fingers and other remaining limbs while visiting our salon-- they cannot assist with the above techniques if anymore limbs are eaten (our on-site nutritionists suggest a large meal before your day at the salon). We look forward to your reservations!