What are directions, anyway?
You might be thinking "well, the cardinal directions are four perpendicular indicators determined by the polar and magnetic layout of our spherical planet which influence the weather, Earth's rotational behavior, animal migration... " blah blah blah. Whatever. They're little arrows for all I care. Usually little dumb gold arrows on a map or globe, and frankly I have no time for them. Ask yourself: what have directions ever done for you?
That's why I'm glad True North is around. They don't need your lame excuses about science, magnetism, volcanoes, or whatever you were just saying while I was busy thinking about anything else. Nobody cares about how magnets work anymore, so save your breath. Come on, True North has got the right idea guys, and here's some good news: the True North is located in the heart of what you plebeians would consider "The South".
Take that, Yankees. I bet you thought you were soooooooo cool because you had the True North...well guess what? It's ours now. And guess what else? They make awesome projects come to life. That's right North-lovers, you're going to have to get used to the idea of a more Southern-fried True North; something a little more buttery, with the sugary charm of Paula Deen and the rapier wit of Hank Williams Jr. Sorry, the North, but the True North is ours now.